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| Unprovoked Act of Terror |
Groups across Israel were this morning calling for international
condemnation and possible military action against hot Lebanese women
following reports that George Clooney had proposed to his girlfriend
Amal Alamuddin.
The Batman & Robin star, who only last year claimed to
have had no marriage aspirations, is believed to have been showing off
an engagement ring with the Beirut-born barrister over the weekend,
provoking a wave of anger from fans across Israel.
“We cannot allow the world to sit idly by in the face of this
unprovoked act of terror,” said Lydia Cohen of the Tel Aviv George
Clooney Appreciation Society. Cohen, echoing a call being heard across Israel, is now urging for
military strikes against all attractive single Lebanese women to prevent
such a situation from arising again.
“These terror cells need to be dealt with swiftly before they have time to ensnare more Hollywood heartthrobs,” she added. Meanwhile, many groups expressed concern that Clooney, already
considered to harbour liberal views, will have been corrupted further by
Alamuddin, who will likely seek to influence the Confessions of a Dangerous Mind actor’s future cinematic choices.
“I mean, she’s a human rights lawyer, for god’s sake,” said Hayley
Azgad, founder of the IDF Women Totes Adorbs Clooney Facebook page,
which currently boasts over 5,300 followers.
“Clearly she’s already been feeding poor George lies and we’re no
doubt going to be seeing him suddenly involved in a load of bleeding
heart nonsense about settlements, injustice or other pro-Palestinian
mumbo-jumbo. The great anti-Semitic takeover of Hollywood has begun.”
Israeli fears appear to have been justified this morning with the
news that Clooney is now favourite to take the lead in upcoming Middle
East rom-com, You Had Me At Jihad.
(source: The Pan Arabia Enquirer, @arabiaenquirer)
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